So I guess that I kind of beat the Christmas rush by writing this now. Yeah, that sounds better than "I wrote this a couple weeks late." I shall continue regardless.

My sister is contemplating telling her daughter the "truth" about Santa. She is seven years old and the only one in her class that still believes. It kind of sucks, because she will clearly be crushed. But everybody has a horrible experience to tell about when they learned the "truth", that is, assuming that your parents raised you on Santa.

I remember when I learned the "truth". I was six. I was in bed like a good little boy would be. However, I had to relieve my bladder, so I got up. I saw my family eating the cookies that we had left for Santa. I screamed at them and cried and even bit my older sister. The worst part is that, in the heat of the moment, I forgot to go to the bathroom and I wet the bed that night. Boy, what a fun Christmas morning that was!

I made that story up. I actually was never encouraged to believe in Santa. However, had I believed, my experience would have probably been something like that.

It does bring up an interesting question though. Should parents encourage their children to believe in Santa? I mean, yeah, it's fun. Yeah, it's tradition. But at what expense? Your children might be traumatized psychologically. They may never believe another word you say.

However, do you really want your children to be the kids that make their classmates cry in Kindergarten because they tell them what their parents never did? And really, how many people do you know that are screwed up by the "truth"?

It is quite a dilemma, and it is an issue that really bothers me. I need to figure it out before I have children, otherwise, I can see my toddler asking who Santa is because he heard Arthur, the fat neighbor kid with the retarded parents talk about him. I'll have to say something like, "I don't know, that kid's parents are retarded. They probably just made him up." Maybe I'm being a bit hard on his parents, but if his dad wouldn't steal the newspaper every morning, I wouldn't have to be so rude. Seriously, man, EVERY FREAKING MORNING!

I guess I'll conclude by telling what I am leaning towards doing for the sake of my kids. I think I will tell them about Santa, but then tell them that he is a jerk. That way, when I (or, more likely, his classmates) tell him that he is not real, he will feel happy.

Think about it, every Christmas I could come up with a new scenario. I could be like, "Oh no, Remy! Santa ate your puppy!"

"Dad, I don't have a puppy."

"Not now. Merry Christmas..." Then I'll hand him a severed dog head with a bow wrapped around its neck... or something.

Or "Sorry, Orrin, Santa never brought presents for you. It wasn't because you were bad, but because he gave extra presents to Arthur, 'cause he thought his mom was hot."

Don't worry, he would still get presents from me and his mother.

So I was taking a shower today and I grabbed my shampoo. The label read something like "Shampoo for Men". At first, I thought nothing of it. However, I slowly began to wonder about it. How does that work?

The more I thought about it, the more I found it to be a genius scheme by the Shampoo companies. Think about it. You know, it was probably the distributors that asked for the shampoo in a smaller quantity than what the company wanted. Therefore, the shampoo company probably said, "Well, what about our other shampoos?"

"What do you mean by 'other shampoos'?" asked the distributors.

"Well, we have shampoo for men, women, and kids. Oh, and for straight hair and for curly hair."

"Oh, I'll take some of those too, then."

Little do the distributors (or the consumers for that matter) know that it is all the same shampoo, just different bottles! They are all brilliant!

By the way, all of this is just speculation on my part. There might be differences in the shampoo, I do not know. However, if there are differences, I think I will lose more respect for them then I would otherwise.

Well, before I get started on this entry, I thought that I would give props to my mad design skills. I worked for hours trying to figure out how to make this blog look more plain, and I think that I exceeded my own expectations. Now, to politics...

Okay, I rarely talk about my political views. This is probably because most of them swing left and right. If I talk too much about them, I will eventually upset everyone. After all, if politicians teach nothing else, they show us that as long as someone disagrees with you a little bit, it is okay to hate them a lot.

However, I must get this off of my chest right now. I was flipping around yesterday and saw the President of the United States on television talking about the war and such. Now, I certainly do not hate the president, but I certainly do not agree with him on very much either. Yesterday, though, I was certainly upset.

Mr. President, let me make this clear. You are not going to change anyone's mind by talking on the television. Everybody who watches your address will disagree if they disagreed before and agree if they agreed before. Furthermore, I do not spend my day wondering how you can justify the war. I spend my day thinking of the Griffins, the Swansons, and Mr. Glenn Quagmire. Do you understand? I do not care what you want to say, I want to watch Family Guy! You are lucky I was not taping it, or else I would be even more upset.

That is all. Thank you and good night.

It's been a while, so I thought that I would update my blog. I figured that I gave everyone long enough to let my previous entries sink in. I don't remember what the last one was about, but I'm sure that it was thought-provoking as always.

I am rather suprised to realize that I have not written about sports on this blog at all. It is shocking really. I have always loved sports and I have very strong opinions about sports. So today I thought that I would write about...well, sports.

The way that I see it, I think that I can discuss Cooperstown or T.O. I'm sure that the whole T.O. situation will never go away, so I will discuss my views on Baseball's Hall of Fame.

It was announced recently that Pete Rose will not be on the Hall of Fame ballot this year which is his last year of his eligibility. Pete Rose, of course, is the man who finished his career with more hits than anybody that ever played Major League Baseball, but was banned for betting on baseball. This sucks. It sucks a lot really. Imagine walking into the Hall of Fame with your son and he asks you: "Who is the greatest hitter in baseball history?"

"Oh," you reply, "Well, that would be Pete Rose. He's not here, though. You see he bet on baseball. The best hitter here is Ty Cobb."

"And Ty Cobb didn't bet on baseball?"

"Actually he was a gambler, alchoholic, and racist who got into fist fights with the other team, his own team, and his fans."

"Wow!" your son replies, "I'm sure glad that they don't let bad guys in here like Pete Rose!"

Don't get me wrong. I love Ty Cobb. He was a great player. He deserves to be in the Hall of Fame. However, so does Pete Rose. Sure, he bet on baseball and lied about it for a decade and a half, but who cares? This is not the Hall of Model Citizens That Were Good Baseball Players Too.

You see, Cooperstown (next to Baseball's Commissioners Office) is the most corrupt organization in sports. Not that it's all together bad, it's just corrupt. Or in other words, Cooperstown was meant to be good, but somewhere along the line it got screwed up. It is now just who the sports writers like, not who the fans like. I don't know why. But there is just so much hypocrisy.

A good example of this is the fact that no Designated Hitter is in the Hall of Fame. The best Designated Hitter in its history, Edgar Martinez, retired last year and many say that he will not get into the Hall of Fame. Why? Because he is a Designated Hitter. He was completely one-dimensional. That is completely understandable. However, if they don't want one-dimensional players in the Hall of Fame, why in the world did they put Phil Rizzuto and Ray Schalk in there? They were both great fielders, but horrible at everything else.

Well, I am going to quit while I'm still behind. I care not if anyone disagrees with me, primarily because I know quite a few people probably do disagree. And I know, some might be wondering why this one wasn't very funny. To that, I can only say one thing. Two hydrogen atoms are walking down the street. One says to the other one, "Oh no! I lost an electron!"

"Are you sure?"

"I'm positive!"

Hey. I just thought that I would release some excitement as this blog has been read over one thousand times now. I don't know if how good that is, but it can't be bad for the fact that I only have posted, like three things worth reading (if that).

It probably isn't much of a feat, but it can't be much worse than my website of goodness. I don't think it had been visited even one hundred times in somewhere around six years. (I am not going to give the address, because I want people to be proud of themselves if they ever stumble across it. That, and I'm ashamed of it.)

Anyway, to celebrate, I guess that I'll just post a link to the most amazing blog ever. If you want to, feel free to visit the Dilbert Blog.

Hello all. I hope everyone had a good and safe Mole day (or Mol Day for short) this past weekend. I know I did.

So, I noticed how many topics I can post under on tBlog, and figured that I should begin to take advantage of it. So for the very first time, I am going to make a post about Entertainment.

So.... what do I know about entertainment? I do not want to post about X-Men 3, lest I look like a complete nerd to a bunch of strangers. Not to mention Rickygate kind of messed with me emotionally. If you don't know about Rickygate, don't bother yourself. Just let your curiosity fade into obscurity.

I guess that I could write about upcoming movie news. I heard that certain places don't want children to watch Pirates of the Carribean 2. That's right. Say it with me: Because it's rated Arrrrgh! You had to see that coming.

Anyway. I guess that I'll just talk about celebrity gossip. It's fun to hear input on celebrity gossip from people like me, because people like me don't care about celebrities. Tabloids will tell you who's dating who, but I'll tell you the facts. For instance, I can tell you right now that Britney's kid already has a higher reading comprehension than she and Kevin Fedderline do combined. Editorials and stuff might say that Ashlee Simpson is one of the worst things to happen to music in twenty years. I can tell you that she is the worst thing to happen to America Earth the human race since the creation (or evolution, if that is your sort of thing) of it. It's cool though, because her sister is hot.

The two biggest names that I hear about on TV and such, are Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes. For some reason, people want to hear about what the little guy and the not really that tall, but looks tall next to the little guy girl are doing. Are they really an item? Is she really pregnant? Does anyone really care?

On a philosophical level, I believe that they do not really love each other. They might be a completely serious couple, but I don't think love is a huge part of their relationship. Here's why: Tom Cruise was seen a while ago acting like a retarded monkey on Oprah's couch professing his love for Katie Holmes. Love is a commitment, not a feeling. I am rather certain that nobody has ever jumped up and down for a decision that they made. "Woo Hoo! I'm going to wear a grey shirt today! Should I bring it out?" His interpretation of "love" will last about as long as my hunger. Then again, I am overweight so take from that whatever you'd like.

The bottom line: Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are for real. That is, a real couple. That is they really are dating each other. I know this for a fact. To any one who thinks differently, I tell you this: I know Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes. I've studied them. You don't know them the way that I know them. Dude, you're glib. Do your research.

I just thought I'd update again. My sister's car died the other day. It was the Avian Bird Flu. I know, that joke sucked. Sorry.

Well, I don't know what else to write except: For those about to rock, we salute you.

Alright, so I got on the bandwagon a little late, but I decided a little while ago to jot down some thoughts on the hurricanes that have pounded certain parts of the U.S.

The city called New Orleans lies in ruin due to a hurricane. Just when they thought that they could start rebuilding, it felt the effects of another hurricanes and the levees began to break. That probably sucked. However, it just goes to show that they should have repaired the levees with more than a kid sticking his finger into a hole.

Hurricanes suck. A lot. All of this hurricane business has to stop. We have to approach Mother Nature's doorstep with pitchforks and torches. WE MUST DESTROY THE BEAST! (By the way, I am writing this sleep-deprived and bored, so I really have no clue what I am talking about.)

For those who have heard nothing of the hurricanes (probably only people who are boycotting all news sources... or college students), the hurricanes that I am talking about are Hurricane Katrina and Hurricane Rita. This proves that women should not have power. I have also learned some other things from all of these events.

First of all, People are naturally media-whores. Or is it media whores? Mediawhores? Anyway, a perfect example of this is Sean Penn. The guy decides to take a heroic trip to Louisiana to save some people trapped in their houses with his little boat. He would bring them to dry land and give them money from his own wallet. The bad part is that joining him in his boat was... wait for it... his camera crew. Imagine how many more people he could have saved had he left the boom mic at home.

The second thing I learned is that there are no boundaries for political partisanship (if that is even actually a word). This stuff has become crazy. Immediately after Katrina hit, Democrats coast to coast began to blame Bush... for a natural disaster. Then, Republicans fought back by claiming that hurricanes, in fact, do not exist. I might have messed up my facts a little, but I think it happened something like that, though.

Lastly, I learned that words sometimes falter when dealing with pain. I saw an NFL game with the Saints not involved (I think that it was Green Bay and Cleveland), and someone was holding a sign saying something to the extent of "Our thoughts are with you, New Orleans!" That probably meant a lot to a city without any electricity at the time, thus could not watch the game. But even if they could, do you think that mere words would help them with the loss of their loved ones, homes, etc.? I find that hard to believe. I do not think that any words can comfort these people... especially Barbara Bush's words.

In conclusion, once again, hurricanes (and all natural disasters) suck. They can take everything away from you in an instant without warning. Therefore, I have decided that every time I read something asking me to donate to Hurricane Katrina, I will refuse. After what she did to New Orleans, I am not giving her a penny.

I have a new link. This is an awesome blog from my childhood role model. I think it is updated more often than mine (if that's possible). So without further adieu... Here is the greatest blog on the planet.

I haven't entered anything in a while. It has been more than a month if my calculations are correct. I'm taking classes so I haven't really thought a whole lot about blogging, but I have some ideas about what I might post.

Primarily, I have decided to post a lot of links. This way, I don't have to  be creative at all. Just find a cool site and post it. So today's link is to a beautiful masterpiece. It is the classic story of Han and Leia put to a beautiful song. In the words of the grat philosopher, Adam West: "I love this song! Especially when sung by amateurs... but I hate baseball cards."

Hoping you like Star Wars,

Uncle Rufus

By the way, it took me a while to load... just sayin'.

So I just realized that I put a bad link up. Here's the correct one:

Hope on the 26th

Today on this blog thing, I thought that I would share a poem that I wrote with you. However, first it would help to explain it.

You see today is a solemn day for me. It was two years ago today that my best and truest friend at the time, Jesse Brown, was killed in a car accident.

When I heard of Jesse's death, I was quite suprised at how I handled it. You see, being a Christian for, like, fifteen years, I was not doing my devotions or anything and I began to just be somewhat apathetic towards God. Now something as devastating as the death of a friend at a time like that should have caused me to give up on religion all together. But it actually strengthened my relationship with God.

So a year ago today, I was coming home from Florida on an aeroplane, when I began to think about everything that happened a year earlier. I thought that I would write a tribute to Jesse, but it turned more inward than that.

Here is the poem I wrote, appropriately titled Hope on the 26th.

Okay, so this is the first entry in my wonderful new weblog (or 'blog', as the kids these days say). My confession is that, believe it or not, I do not read many 'blogs'. I admit this to warn any reader of this blog that this blog might...suck...really...bad.

Now, I've got another confession to make (yeah, I know. I made a Foo Fighters reference. That song is still overrated). This confession is that I made my title mention a confession in hoping that people would read this just to find out what I was confessing. I know I would have.

So anyway, this weblog will be updated whenever I feel like it. That was my attitude with the website I made and it went four years without being updated. Anyway, best of luck to this 'blog'.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to take a 'Carl Rove' (you know...leak).

Uncle Rufus